By Any Other Name
by Animaltalker
Summary: Chapter 5 With Casey's help Munch helps Pavel deal with his family's funerals and begins establishing a new family.
1. Ivan & the Boy

Author's Note: Things written in italics are being spoken in Russian.

Fin and Munch had been called to another horrific crime scene, a woman had been savagely raped and beaten to death while two men, one about her age, the other frail and elderly, had been forced to watch. The two men had then likewise been beaten and executed.

"John can you read this?" Fin asked, handing a passport with the female victim's picture on it to him.

"Nadia Rusayev, she hasn't been here long, less than a month. Damn!" Munch swore suddenly.

"What's wrong?" Fin asked.

"According to her passport she traveled with a child, a six year old boy, named Pavel. So where is he?" Munch asked.

Fin suddenly went down on his belly to look under the furniture.

"Come on out of there little fellow, we won't hurt you. We're the cops. We're the good guys."

"Great Fin, you probably scared the crap out of him," John noted.

"Nah, he doesn't understand a word I'm saying? You better do your thing."

Munch gave Fin a pained look, but he thought about the poor scared kid.

"_Pavel, it's OK you can come out now. No one is going to hurt you. I promise. Please come on out let us help you."_

A boy of 6, who could have easily passed for John's son, with his dark hair, brown eyes, gaunt face and slender build, pulled himself out from under a couch and like a frightened wild animal made his way to John's side.

"_What's your name?"_ the boy asked timidly.

John thought about the question, he hadn't been asked that in Russian in a long time, his answer came unbidden.

"_Ivan Borshevsky, you can call me Ivan," _he said.

Fin didn't understand Russian but he felt as though he'd just heard John introduce himself by a false name, he shrugged it off, thinking that maybe John had asked him about someone named Ivan Borshevsky.

"OK, Ivan,"the boy answered in English.

'Damn," thought Fin, 'I'm not wrong. The kid just called Munch Ivan, what's up with that?'

"_Pavel, do you know the men who died here?"_ John asked trying to be gentle.

"_Yes, that's my father and that's my grandfather,"_ the boy said pointing to the two dead bodies and trying hard not to cry.

"_You are being so brave Pavel, I'm sure your family would be proud of you," _John said.

"_Mama and Papa and Grandpapa are all the family I have, had," _the boy corrected himself and then buried his face in John's pants leg and let the tears flow.

John picked the boy up and carried him to the back of Fin's car.

"Drive, get us away from this damn place!" John said, as he continued to hold the crying boy.

Fin obeyed, even though he wasn't sure where John wanted him to go, and he had a lot of questions he wanted to ask John or Ivan or whatever the hell Munch was calling himself.

"You want me to drive us to Child Protective Services?" he asked.

"No to the stationhouse, Pavel hasn't told us everything about the case yet." John barked.

By the time they got to the stationhouse Pavel had calmed down some, and John thought he could get some more information out of him.

As luck would have it, Dr. George Huang was visiting Captain Cragen and wanted to help with the interview.

"Do you speak Russian?" Munch asked somewhat impatiently.

"No, doesn't Pavel speak any English?" Huang countered.

Munch suddenly realized he hadn't bothered to ask, his Russian was certainly up to the task of conversing with Pavel up to that point, so he hadn't bothered to ask Pavel if he spoke any English.

"Uh, I don't know. Let me ask." John answered.

Pavel beat him to the punch. "I speak little English, not so very good. Sometimes not understand."

"OK, how about you translate from Russian anytime he's not comfortable talking in English," Huang proposed.

Pavel and Munch agreed to the arrangement.

Munch and Huang conducted a psych evaluation/witness examination that went amazingly well. Munch came to the conclusion that either Pavel's family cared enough about something to die before revealing information about it, or the goons who killed his parents had the wrong family. He was also sure that either Pavel hadn't been able to see the perps from his vantage point, or he was just too frightened to say anything about what they looked like, but he did give a pretty good account of their conversation. They'd gotten a few clues from it for the rest of the squad to start working on as leads. Munch was also hoping CSU might have something for them.

Huang was just beginning to give his opinion on the boy's mental state when a woman from Child Protective Services blew in like the wicked witch of the west, at least as far as Munch was concerned.

"Maryann Dupree, Child Protective Services," the woman said to introduce herself. "I understand you have a young boy here whose parents are deceased, as is his only other known relative, a maternal grandfather, all victims of apparent homicide. Is that correct?"

"Yes, I believe that's correct," Cragen answered, feeling a bit like he was being blitzed.

"I've come to take the boy into custody," she pronounced.

"Excuse me! No ifs, buts or by your leaves, just I'm taking him?" John said getting a little hot under the collar.

"It's standard policy, I assure you, and it's in the boy's best interest, really. Now, where is he?" she asked politely, but firmly.

"We have a special interview room for children, he's in there playing, waiting for me to come tell him a story," John answered miserably.

"I see, well I'll just go collect him from there then," she said.

"No, wait, let me prepare him, explain to him what's going on," John said, in a panic.

She hesitated a moment, and Huang saw an opportunity to intervene on John and Pavel's behalf.

"Ms. Dupree, I really think you should let Detective Munch talk to the boy, they've established a rapport, and frankly the boy's English isn't anywhere near strong enough to handle this situation, so John may as well explain it to him in Russian," Huang said.

A little later in the children's interview room

"_You have to go with her, Pavel" _Munch told the boy again.

"_No, I want to stay with you, Ivan" _the boy replied.

"_Pavel, I am a detective not a"- _John stopped short, his Russian was a bit rusty, with his zayde and bobe dead, he rarely spoke it or Yiddish anymore, except in the line of duty, so he was having trouble picking the term he wanted, but in the end he got it through to Pavel, that the powers that be thought he'd be better off in a foster home or shelter than with John.

"What did he say, **Ivan**?" Fin asked, stressing the name the boy had been using for Munch.

"He doesn't want to go with Child Protective Services," John answered, trying to avoid the implication in Fin's voice.

"Smart kid," Fin said.

"He wants to stay with me," John finished translating Pavel's request.

"Smart but crazy, he can't stay with you, you're an old curmudgeon, you work lousy hours, and as a cop you're in a dangerous line of business. You take him in, he's likely to lose you just like he lost his parents and granddad," Fin started listing the reasons John should not consider taking the boy into his life.

Before John and Fin could get much further, Pavel came over and clung to John, burying his face in the fabric of the detective's pants at his right pocket.

"_Ivan, please don't let them take me. I want to stay with you, please,"_ the boy pleaded, tears staining his face.

John looked at Ms Dupree and sighed.

"I know you have Pavel's best interest at heart, but he's been through a lot. Can you honestly tell me that you're going to find him shelter tonight with a foster family that speaks Russian, and that he feels as safe with as he feels with me?" John said in a soft, but challenging voice.

"No, I can't. But can you honestly tell me that you are ready to take care of a six year old boy by yourself?" the CPS worker challenged him.

"No I can't, but is any parent every completely sure they are up to the task of parenting a child before they start it?" he challenged back.

"I'd feel a lot more sanguine about this, if there was a Mrs. Munch on the scene," she said.

John bit back the comment that instantly came to his mind about all the ex-Mrs. Munches, because he could tell the woman was about to give in.

George Huang had hung around to add his extra 2 cents to the debate, and he decided now was the time, "From a psychological standpoint this child doesn't need any more losses. He's forming a bond with Detective Munch, to disrupt it now, on top of all the other trauma in his life could be devastating."

"Look, I'm not some heartless bureaucrat, I can see the bond Dr. Huang is talking about, and I agree about the affect of losing that newly forming bond so close on the heels of losing his family," she took a big breath and let out a sigh, as if fearful of what she was about to say. "So the boy may stay with you detective Munch, **temporarily**, until we determine what to do with him on a more permanent basis." she told John.

John's face split with a big grin. "Thank You."

"Your welcome," she said, and then picked up her heavy looking case folder and left quickly as though she wanted to leave before she regretted her decision.

Pavel pulled on John's shirtsleeve, "I can stay with you, yes?" he asked in English.

John picked the boy up, and grinning widely said, "You can stay with me, yes!" He turned the boy around in a circle and then set him down on his chair, with an oof "_You're a bigger boy than I realized, Pavel!"_

"_No Ivan, you are just too skinny. You need a wife to feed you better, make you strong!"_ Pavel raised his arms like a body builder.

"_How old are you again?" _John asked sarcastically.

"_Six, but I'm Russian," _Pavel answered, and John started laughing and couldn't stop.

"What'd he say?" Olivia asked, wanting in on the little boy's joke.

"First he told John he was too skinny, and needs a wife who would feed him better and make him strong," Casey imitated Pavel's muscle man stance. Then John asked Pavel how old he was. Pavel said he's six, but he's Russian," Casey Novak, who had entered the squad room almost unnoticed, translated for Olivia and the rest of the squad, and they too got a kick out of Pavel's quick wit.

"You speak Russian?" John asked.

"Yeah a little bit," Casey said.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

"You never asked," she replied.

Suddenly John's mind, or was it Ivan's, was churning with ideas.

To Be Continued


	2. Old Truth

Pavel tugged on John's sleeve_. "Ivan, I'm hungry," _the little boy informed him.

"_Of course you are. I'll take you for something to eat in just a minute. I just have to talk to my boss. You wait right here," _John said, as he hoisted the boy up on his desk.

John turned to Casey and Olivia, "You two watch Pavel, while I'm in talking to Cragen?" he asked the women for a favor. They eagerly nodded and moved closer to his desk to play with Pavel.

"Why'd you ask them, when I'm the one with four kids at home?" Elliot commented, as Munch started to head for Cragen's office.

John paused a moment and looked at Elliot over his glasses, "First, you're barely conversant in English, let alone Russian. Second it's your lovely wife Kathy who is the one with experience raising 4 kids, you just make them and bring home the paycheck," John said as he breezed by Elliot on his way to Cragen's office.

Fin tried hard not to laugh. "Don't take it too hard El, something's bugging John, or should I say Ivan?"

"Yeah, now what's up with that? Why's the kid keep calling him Ivan?" Elliot asked.

"That's simple, Ivan is Russian for John just like Paul is the English version of Pavel," Casey answered from where she and Olivia were trying to find computer games on Munch's computer to keep Pavel busy with while John talked to Cragen.

"Nah, it's more than that, when he introduced himself to the kid I heard him say Ivan Borshevsky, at first I thought maybe he was asking the kid a question about someone named Ivan Borshevsky, but then the kid said, 'OK Ivan' and I knew that's how Munch had introduced himself to Pavel," Fin explained.

"So what are we saying here, that John's real name is Ivan Borshevsky?" Olivia asked. "Why would he change his name and why would he tell Pavel his 'real' name?" she continued adding questions.

"I don't know, but you know John, he's not going to open up and spill his guts about it, especially if he's kept it a secret for a long time," Elliot added.

"Yeah, well so what do we do, pretend we haven't really noticed, ask him about it, or investigate behind his back?' Fin asked.

"I don't like the sound of that last option, especially with John, if he finds out we're snooping around in his past, he's likely to get all paranoid," Olivia said.

"What do you mean get paranoid, the dude's paranoid to begin with," Fin commented.

"Look, why don't each of us look for a chance to ask John straight up about this Ivan Borshevsky thing, but in the meantime it can't hurt to do a little research," Elliot said.

"Like what?" Casey asked distractedly as she tried to see John in Cragen's office.

"I don't know, like see if we can find an Ivan Borshevsky with John Munch's birth date," Elliot suggested.

"Yeah, that ought to be easy enough to check in vital statistics," Fin said, turning to his computer screen.

"You might check court dockets for a name change or an adoption," Casey threw out, but still kept her attention on Cragen's office.

"I'm pretty sure John's not adopted. I mean I think that's something he would have mentioned," Olivia countered.

"Well, it wouldn't have to be a traditional adoption, more like a stepfather adopting his wife's children," Casey explained what she had meant by her suggestion and Olivia nodded her head.

"Bingo!" Fin said, but before he could explain what he was excited about Munch exited Cragen's office. He walked over to Pavel and knelt down to the boy's level.

"_Come on Pavel, I got my boss' permission to take you to get something to eat, and then he's going to let me off for the rest of the day so I can get you settled in at my place. How's that sound?" _John asked.

"_It sounds good, Ivan. Can the pretty red-haired lady come with us?" _ Pavel asked.

John looked at him over his glasses. _"What are you plotting?"_

"_Nothing, I swear. I just like her," _Pavel said with a slight blush.

John leaned in closed and murmured, _"Keep a secret?" _Pavel nodded earnestly. _"I do too," _John admitted in a whisper.

"_So, we ask her to go along?"_ Pavel asked. John smiled and nodded.

"Hey Casey, I've got an offer you can't refuse." John said, doing his best cocky guy routine.

"Want to make a bet," she answered cheerily.

"Yeah, I'll bet that you're going to have lunch with me, because I just know you won't turn me and Pavel both down, right?" he asked smugly.

Casey shook her head. "That's low John Munch, even for you. Using a cute little kid as bait, so I have to say yes to a lunch date."

John bowed his head as though he were ashamed of himself, but then he looked up at her from an angle, "Is it working?"

"OK," she said, in a voice that hid how thrilled she was to be going out with him. She turned to Pavel and asked, _"So where are we going?"_

"McDonalds!" Pavel exclaimed.

"In the country a month and the kid's already got a Jones for McDonalds," Fin said sounding a bit disgusted.

"They do have McDonalds in Russia you know," Munch informed Fin.

"_Come on let's go," _Pavel said impatiently, and then grabbed Munch and Casey each by the hand and began pulling them toward the doors.

John looked back, smiled and waved. "Bye gang."

"Good I thought he'd never leave," Fin said. Elliot and Olivia gathered round his desk, but before he could say anything Cragen and Huang came out of Cragen's office.

"So you guys got some hot lead on this case or what?" Cragen asked.

The three detectives looked at each other, uncertain whether to bring Cragen in on their little bit of extracurricular investigating or not.

"What? What's up? Come on spill it, you all look like kids caught out after curfew," Cragen gently barked.

"Well, we were kind of curious about this Ivan Borshevsky name thing of John's, and we thought we'd just take a second to look into it," Fin said.

"You know it might be a good idea. It seems to me that John might want to keep Pavel, and if that's the case the CPS will do a thorough background check on him. Maybe you, as his friend,s should beat them to the punch," Huang suggested.

"OK, go ahead but don't spend too long on it. We do have a rape triple homicide to investigate," Cragen said, giving the OK to proceed.

"So Fin, what was the bingo about before Munch came out?" Elliot asked.

"Oh, I'd gotten to Maryland's vital statistics and I found a birth for a Ivan Viktor Borshevsky on Aug 4th,"-

"That's John's birthday," Olivia said excitedly.

"Yeah and if you'd let me finish, I was going to tell you the year matches and it was in Pikesville, which is where John was born, leastwise that's what he told me," Fin said.

"Does it give any information on Ivan's parents?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah, father's name Ivan Nikolai Borshevsky, mother's name Nadia Munch Borshevsky," Fin read from the computer screen. "Guess that just about cinches it. John Munch is Ivan Borshevsky," he concluded

"Wonder why he changed his name?" Cragen wondered aloud, what everyone else was thinking.

"You know there's another record here, but I didn't call it up because it was about a decade too late to be John's birth record, and I can see now it's for John's dad 'cause it's Ivan N. Borshevsky. I'm going to call it up, see what it is," Fin said decisively.

"A death certificate," Olivia said, reading over Fin's shoulder.

"Yeah, and look at what it says in cause of death – suicide, gunshot wound, self inflicted," Fin read softly and slowly.

"Munch's old man committed suicide when he was a kid?" Elliot asked for confirmation.

"Yeah, from the look of these records John would have been about 11," Fin answered.

"John's family is Jewish isn't it?" Huang asked.

"Yes," Cragen answered. "And from what John's said, I think his mother is very observant," he added.

"Judaism teaches that suicide is murder, the suicide victim would not be accorded full burial rites, and there's debate in some communities as to whether the family should observe the traditional 7 day mourning period or whether the kaddish prayer would be said," Huang explained.

"So are you thinking that Munch's mother may have changed John's name, to what, save him the shame of being the son of a man who committed suicide?" Elliot asked incredulously.

"Yes, it could very well be, and if that's what happened it explains a lot about John," Huang said in a soft voice that spoke of his expertise, but also seemed to hold compassion.

"What do you mean?" Fin asked with an edge of distrust.

"Well, there is no easy age to lose a parent, especially by suicide, but it's especially hard on an adolescent boy to lose his father. Particularly at a stage of life when he's just starting to really need a man in his life to turn to as a role model. John's role model killed himself, and remember he was named for this man, and then suddenly his mother took his identity away from him, as though he should be ashamed of who he was or rather who he was becoming," Huang said.

Everyone got quiet as they thought about John as a young boy, coping with losing his father and being renamed.

"Think about John, how would you describe him?" Huang asked.

"Smart and funny," Elliot offered.

"Cynical, even a bit paranoid at times," Fin added.

"He's very loyal and compassionate," Olivia said, sounding like she was defending him.

"Yes, he is Olivia. John cares a lot about people, but he'd rather no one noticed that, he likes cultivating the curmudgeon's label. He longs to be loved, but he's afraid to be hurt," Huang said.

"Aren't we all like that?" Cragen asked.

"To an extent, almost everyone's had an experience or two in their lives that's convinced them that life has it in for them, but most of us didn't start getting those messages so young nor were the messages so effective," George explained.

"Do you think Pavel is OK with John?" Cragen asked.

"Of course he is," Olivia answered defensively.

"Well?" Cragen asked, ignoring Olivia's interruption and pressing Huang for an answer.

"Pavel isn't going to be OK with anyone, unless he gets professional assistance dealing with his parents' and grandfather's deaths, but he is no worse off being with John than he would be with anyone else. At least Pavel doesn't have to deal with communication problems with John, and John understands firsthand what it's like to lose a parent at a young age. John has also dealt with many victims who have lost family members, so he knows what to expect," Huang answered.

"But what if this starts triggering 'stuff' for Munch?" Fin asked.

"Well," Huang was uncharacteristically hesitant; "it would probably be good for John to work through some of that 'stuff', though I'm not so sure how it would affect Pavel, for that reason I'm glad Casey is with them, and I hope she spends a good deal more time with them."

"I don't," Olivia stated flatly.

"Why do you have a problem with Casey spending time with Munch and the kid?" Fin asked truly puzzled.

"You don't know? Are you sure you're a detective?" Olivia said mockingly.

"What? What am I missing?" Fin said, now getting a little miffed.

"Haven't you ever noticed the way Casey is around Munch?" Elliot asked.

"I guess I'm as clueless as Fin. Fill us all in, why don't you?" Captain Cragen requested of Olivia.

"OK, well I think Elliot will back me up on this. Casey has a crush on John, and while I think that might flatter John, and he would flirt with her a bit, I doubt he'd get seriously involved with her," Olivia explained.

"Why do you say that?" Huang asked.

"As far as I can tell he's given up on relationships, and from other things he's told me, I don't think he would let Casey think there was the chance of something serious developing between them if there wasn't. So if Casey spends a lot of time with John and Pavel, both she and the kid may be greatly disappointed," Olivia explained."

"Well, you know what? It's not up to us. It's their lives. All we can do is be supportive friends," Cragen said by way of closing out the discussion. "now Gentlemen, lady it's time to get back to business."


	3. Changes

As John, Casey and Pavel headed for Munch's car, the boy wedged himself between the adults and took the hand of each. John looked down at the boy and smiled at him, Pavel smiled back. Casey looked at them and felt an emotion wash over her. She wasn't sure what to call the emotion, but it warmed her, yet left her feeling anxious, afraid something would happen to take the feeling away.

"Can I get a Happy Meal, Ivan?" Pavel asked.

"It's may I get a Happy Meal, and I don't see why not," John answered.

"Well, I do," Casey commented, as the threesome got into Munch's car.

"What have you got against Happy Meals?" John asked.

"Too much sugar in the pop, too much fat in the hamburgers or the chicken nuggets, and too much fat and salt in the French Fries. There are healthy choices there, you know," Casey explained.

"What? You expect him to eat a salad?" John asked in a sarcastic voice.

"I don't have to have a Happy Meal," Pavel offered, seeking to minimize the conflict between John and Casey.

"No, it's OK Pavel, if you want a Happy Meal that's what you shall have," John said firmly and gave Casey a look over his glasses that said he wasn't brooking any further argument from her.

Casey's return look very clearly said, 'we'll talk about this later,' but she let the topic drop.

When they arrived at the restaurant, Pavel stopped right at the doors and began crying. John squatted down so he was at Pavel's height. _"What's wrong, Pavel?"_ John asked gently.

"_I used to come here with Mama and Papa._" Pavel began explaining through his tears._ "I will never come here with them again, will I?"_ he asked.

"_No Pavel, but you will always have your memories of them, no one can take those from you,"_ John answered truthfully.

"Hey man, you and your kid are blocking the door. You want to go in or come out or whatever?" A guy growled at John.

John stood up quickly, almost like a jack in the box and leaned into the man's personal space, very swiftly changing into his tough cop mode.

"You got a problem minding your own business?" John asked, as he opened his suit coat to reveal his badge where it was clipped on his waist, the holster of his handgun was also just visible inside his coat.

"Uh, no I, I've had a tough morning and I'm hungry. I just wanted to get in, and you and the kid are blocking the door," the guy said somewhat flustered, his eyes flickering back and forth from the badge to the gun.

"You've had a tough day? You have no idea what a tough day is, this little boy just watched his mother, father and grandfather be murdered this morning!" Casey screeched at the guy.

"Casey!" John snapped.

"Oh my God, I'm sorry. I had no idea," the guy said, truly remorseful.

"_Ivan, I'm sorry I didn't mean to cause so much trouble,"_ Pavel said.

"_It's all right, Pavel. You didn't do anything wrong_," John reassured the boy.

"Look, let's just everybody go inside, OK?" John suggested, trying to diffuse the situation.

"Yeah, good idea," the stranger agreed.

After a little wrangling over what would be ordered, which consisted of Casey lobbying for what was healthy, John trying to figure out a way to order something for Pavel that, while it wouldn't be Kosher wouldn't be entirely treyf, and Pavel just trying to get something he thought would be tasty and come with the Happy Meal toy he wanted. Once they'd gotten their food and found a table to sit at the questions started.

"Why did you snap at me for telling that guy off?" Casey asked.

"Now's not the time to talk about it, Casey," John said rather harshly and motioned toward Pavel with a slight incline of his head.

"Oh OK," she said, understanding that he didn't want to discuss it in front of Pavel. She decided to try a different tact.

"Why is it not OK for Pavel to have cheese on his hamburger or milk with it, but it's OK for you to have cheese on your fish sandwich?" Casey asked.

"It's not Kosher to eat meat and dairy products in the same meal, but fish is not considered meat, not that any of this food is really Kosher," John explained.

Pavel took a bite of his hamburger and a sip of his juice, and then began playing with the toy from the happy meal.

"Why isn't it Kosher?" she asked. "_Pavel, finish eating your meal then play," _she added almost absent-mindedly to the boy.

"OK Casey," the boy answered, and put the toy down to concentrate on his meal. Despite having been annoyed at her earlier slip, John couldn't help smiling at the way she easily fell into the maternal role.

"Given that I'm not really very observant, I probably shouldn't be the one to explain this to you, and I'm not sure that you really want to hear some of this while eating, how about later I show you a website that explains it?" he suggested.

"OK, it's a deal," Casey replied.

The three of them ate and chatted. After Pavel finished most of his meal, he again pulled out the toy from his happy meal, an action figure from a recent kid's movie. This time Casey didn't say anything to him and so he and John began playing. John provided a funny voice for the character and sound effects, actually managing to make Pavel laugh.

"_Ivan, can I go play?" _Pavel asked looking hopefully towards the indoor play area that this McDonald's featured.

"_OK, but stay where Casey and I can see you,"_ John answered.

Once Pavel was out of earshot, Casey returned to her original question. "So now can you tell me why you got mad at me for telling that guy off?" she asked.

"I wasn't exactly mad at you, but you need to remember Pavel's the only witness to a triple homicide and you didn't know that guy from Adam. You could have been endangering Pavel's life by broadcasting to anybody within earshot what he'd just witnessed," John said, by now his original anger over the situation had abated and so he tried to be gentle in his reproach of her.

"Oh God, I didn't think," Casey said, truly aghast.

John held back the sarcastic comments that came to mind about how she frequently didn't seem to think before she said or did things. He didn't want to be cruel to her, he liked her more than he sometimes wanted to admit to himself, and besides he needed her to do him a big favor. After an awkward few moments of silence, John decided to ask Casey for the favor he needed.

"Casey, I was wondering if you would mind doing me a favor?" he asked hesitantly.

"Sure if I can, I'd be glad to, what's the favor?" she asked, belatedly realizing she sounded like a school girl tripping all over herself in her eagerness to please.

"Would you mind watching Pavel for a while? I need to go over to his family's apartment to pick up his belongings, and I don't think he should come with me. I think it would be too traumatic for him right now, but I've really got to get his clothes, and he'd probably like some other things from the apartment too," Munch explained.

"Oh, of course, I'll call back over to the office and take some personal time off, that way I can stay as long as you need me to," she answered.

"Thanks, that's a big" – suddenly John got up from the table and was off across the restaurant faster than Casey would have guessed he could move. She followed after him and only belatedly realized that Pavel had taken a fall in the play area.

"_Are you all right, Pavel?"_ John asked as he knelt by the boy, his voice laced with concern.

"Yes, I'm fine,"Pavel answered in slightly accented English, sounding slightly annoyed. "I just trip. Are you going to treat me like the baby, running after me every time I trip or get the little scrap?"

John leaned back from Pavel. "The word is scrape, and I'm sorry, I didn't realize caring would offend you."

"John!" Casey said his name as though it was a bullwhip she was cracking to reprimand him.

"What?" he replied, in an equally sharp manner.

"You don't need to be so sarcastic with him," Casey said, not showing any inclination to tolerate John's attitude towards the boy. John rolled his eyes at her and she huffed at him.

Pavel watched the two adults and an anxious expression came over his face, which John noticed.

"Look we've got a lot to get done this afternoon, so why don't we just get going, OK?" John suggested.

"Good idea," Casey agreed.

"OK," Pavel agreed too, if only to keep peace between the grown ups.

As John drove towards his apartment, he was making a mental checklist of all the things he needed to do. Get Pavel and Casey settled in at his place, and then go pick up Pavel's things at the apartment/crime scene. Since they hadn't turned up any relatives, he was going to have to arrange for the funerals. He'd need to check in the Rusayev's apartment a little closer than he had earlier to see if he was right about their religious beliefs. If he was he needed to work fast. He'd also need to make arrangements for a new school for Pavel, he couldn't leave him in his current school for fear the goons who had killed Pavel's family might come after him. John also wanted to talk to George Huang about getting Pavel in to see a good child psychologist; maybe Liz Olivet would be available. He wanted to contact a lawyer to find out how hard it was going to be for him to adopt Pavel, but there wouldn't be time for that. Sometime in the near future he'd have to find time to both thank Casey for helping with Pavel and to apologize for snapping at her.

"Ivan, are you mad at me?" Pavel asked as they got to John's apartment.

"What? No, I'm not mad at you. Why would you think that?

"You don't talk, you don't smile," the boy answered.

John sighed. "Sorry, I was thinking about all the things I need to do. I guess I got lost in my thoughts," John explained.

As he led Pavel and Casey up to his apartment, he tried to remember how he had left the place. He wasn't your typical slob ala Oscar Madison but he wasn't a Felix Unger either. The best he could recall it wasn't in too bad a shape, so it shouldn't offend anyone, and it might even impress Casey, depending on what she was expecting.

"Not bad, a bit Spartan but at least it's not messy," Casey said by way of passing judgment.

"Glad you approve, let me give you the nickel tour, and then I'm off to get Pavel's things from his parent's apartment," John said.

"Could you bring Mishka back for me?" Pavel asked.

"That depends, who's Mishka?" John asked, wondering if somewhere in that apartment there was a pet something or other Pavel would want to have here.

Pavel looked at Casey a little embarrassed, and then motioned to John to lean down to where he could whisper in his ear.

"Oh, OK sure no problem," John said after had heard Pavel's secret request. Pavel smiled when he was sure Ivan would bring Mishka back for him.

John showed Casey where things were in the apartment and then quietly mentioned to her that he needed to make arrangements for Pavel's parents and grandfather's funerals.

"Oh that's right, if they are Jewish it should be done within 24 hours, isn't that the custom?" Casey asked.

"Yes," John answered. "And what with Pavel being his only family, it's going to fall to me, and well to the elders of the synagogue they were attending to make the arrangements. I'll see what I can find out at their apartment."

"Now you be good for Casey and I'll be back soon," John said gently ordering Pavel to behave.

"I will be."

John gave Casey a slight nod of his head as he left.

As the door closed, Casey sighed. It seemed to her that afternoon she'd been rubbing John the wrong way. She didn't mean too, she just seemed to have a knack for it. It was strange, in a courtroom she could think to censure her comments and actions and she could prioritize things, but in her private life she tended to speak or act first, and think about the consequences later. She sighed, she needed to stop brooding over her screw-ups and take care of Pavel's needs.

As John looked around the Rusayev's apartment, he was glad he had decided not to bring Pavel with him. The CSU techs and ME's attendants were done with the apartment and somehow the scene was worse now. The apartment was empty and it seemed as violated as the body of Nadia Rusayev. John tried hard to minimize his intrusion to avoid making things any worse than they already were.

John located a bedroom that from the looks of things was shared by Pavel and his grandfather. He saw a teddy bear sitting on the pillow of one of the twin beds and surmised that that was Mishka. Under the pillow he found Pavel's pajamas. As John emptied a small thrift store dresser of boy's clothes, he realized there wasn't nearly enough in the dresser to get the boy through a week. He checked the closet and didn't find much there either, although he did find a good pair of black pants, a white shirt and a tie and dress shoes. It was probably what Pavel wore to synagogue. John wished he could find a suit coat for him to wear to the funeral tomorrow, but this would have to do. Finally it dawned on him that most of Pavel's clothes were probably in the laundry. John located a basket in the bathroom and sorted through it for Pavel's other things. In the master bedroom he found a suitcase large enough for Pavel's clothes, he also looked around it for pictures and other keepsakes of the boy's family. He did the same in the living room and kitchen. Then he decided he would get a second suitcase and add the mementos to it, along with the laundry and the few toys and storybooks he'd found. John took a last look around the apartment; finally locating some information about the synagogue the family had been attending.

As he left the apartment, John began to realize how much there still was to do and how little time there was to do it in, a good half of his list woul half to wait until tomorrow. Even then he would need to rely even more heavily on Casey than he had intended. He sighed. His realized his reactions to Casey were a bit over the top, and he wasn't quite sure he could put his finger on why, or maybe he could but just didn't want to, just as he really didn't want to go talk to the rabbi.

At least he understood his reluctance to see the rabbi. John wasn't even a three-day Jew, that is, he didn't even go to temple for Passover, Yom Kippur, or Rosh Hashanah, every time he had to set foot in a synagogue because of a case and every time his colleagues turned to him as the resident expert on Judaism, he felt like a fraud. Not that he wasn't a Jew, by just about anyone's definition, but he had rejected Judaism when he felt it had abandoned him and his family. He had felt obliged to continue attending temple as long as he lived at home with his mother and brother, but once he was on his own he quit. He was in his own mind only ethnically a Jew. So now, going to ask this rabbi to arrange three funerals was one of the most difficult things he'd done in a long time.

"Rabbi Cohen, thank you for meeting with me," John said somewhat nervously.

"Of course, Detective Munch, it is no trouble to meet with you and help you with this sad situation. The Rusayevs had not been in the congregation long, but we will see that they are given a proper burial. This funeral home is owned by one of our members, he will see that everything is taken care of, if you give the medical examiner a call and tell them to release the bodies to his care," the Rabbi said as he pressed a business card in John's hand.

"Thank you Rabbi," John said and started to leave.

"Detective, who is taking care of the Rusayev's little boy?" the rabbi asked.

"I am," John answered.

"Indeed, I thought it was customary for a child to be placed in foster care under these kind of circumstances?" the rabbi said, with what John thought was a note of reproach.

"Well, if Pavel had lost his family in a simple car accident perhaps, but this was no accident. His life could be endangered, so it's best if he's with someone who knows how to protect him, and it doesn't hurt that I also happen to speak Russian, so he doesn't have to worry about communication problems," John answered.

"I see, well I will see you tomorrow at the funeral. Will you continue to bring the boy here to temple or will you take him to your own synagogue?" the rabbi asked.

"I haven't decided yet," John said trying to avoid the issue. He glanced at his watch. "I don't mean to seem rude Rabbi, but I asked a friend to watch Pavel for me, and I don't want to impose on her for much longer, and I've still got to make a few phone calls," he said motioning to the business card.

"Of course," the rabbi said.

As John left the rabbi's office, he had the uncomfortable feeling that the man knew everything about him.

Casey discovered that John had far more TV stations than she would have expected of a man she knew had a passion for reading, then again it was probably because he had to get all these channels to get the history channel and C-SPAN. For the moment she was grateful, because he happened to have a number of channels that had good kid fare on them, as she was about to do something she had sworn she'd never do if she ever had a kid of her own; she was going to park Pavel in front of the TV, so she could get dinner made.

Finally a little after 7pm John drug the two suitcases up to his apartment door and rang the bell with his elbow. Casey opened the door for him almost immediately.

"Casey!" John scolded her as he brought the bags in.

"What?" she asked irritated and perplexed.

"Do you always open the door without checking the peephole or asking who it is?" he asked.

"No, but I knew it was you!" Casey answered defensively.

"Oh really, how?" John asked defiantly.

"Ivan, did you bring Mishka?" Pavel interrupted.

John decided to stop being upset with Casey and pay attention to Pavel.

"Yes, and if you help me unpack these suitcases, we'll find him," John answered.

"Are you hungry? I made some potato soup. Pavel and I had grilled cheese sandwiches with it. I can make you a sandwich and warm up some of the soup," Casey offered deciding John might be in a better mood if he were fed.

"The sandwich was really good," Pavel volunteered.

John ruffled Pavel's hair, "So you recommend the grilled cheese sandwich, huh? What about the soup?"

"It's good too, except the onions," Pavel responded, wrinkling his nose when he mentioned the onions.

John shrugged, "I like onions."

"Then have a seat at the kitchen table, it won't take long."

John looked at Casey fixing him a meal, and then glanced over to where Pavel was pulling things out of the suitcases, and like any 6 yr old, scattering them all over the living room floor. For some reason, he found the scene much more agreeable than one would ever have thought a, what was it Fin called him, "old curmedgeon", would have. He sighed, he'd have to be very careful or he could get use to this.


	4. Settling In

"_Pavel, don't make such a mess there, honey_. John where's your laundry? I'll take this stuff and get it done," Casey said picking up Pavel's dirty clothes from the floor.

"Uh, it's in the basement, but don't bother with that. Just give it to me, I'll put it in the laundry hamper and I'll do it with my stuff this weekend," he said holding his arms out to take the dirty clothes.

"Are you sure he can wait that long for laundry to be done?" Casey asked, not surrendering the laundry yet.

"No, he can't, I'm going to have to get him a jacket for the funeral and he could stand a coat and a hat and gloves too. Look, would you give me that stuff so I can put it in the hamper?"

"Just tell me where the hamper is, that will be easier," Casey said with a grin.

"The bathroom, where else?" he answered giving in.

Casey emerged from the bathroom with a pillow and sheets and a blanket.

"I thought I'd help you make up the couch for Pavel," she said.

"Oh thanks," John said, and began automatically removing the pillows from the couch and helping unfold the sheets to make up the couch as a bed for Pavel. Soon they'd made an adequate bed for the boy, and just in time, as they both noticed the little boy's eyes getting heavy with sleep.

"_Pavel it's time for you to brush your teeth and change into your pajamas,"_ John told the boy.

"_Do I have to?"_ Pavel whined like every child the world over.

"_Yes, you do. Do you need any help?" _John asked

"_Yes, please, just with putting toothpaste on my toothbrush and undoing my belt."_

John went in and helped him get the toothpaste on his brush and unbuckled his belt, then left him alone to change into his pajamas.

"You take care of him like you've had practice," Casey observed.

"My kid brother is almost six years younger than me. I used to help him put toothpaste on his toothbrush and tye shoes, all those sorts of things," John explained.

"You must have been a good big brother," she surmised.

"I tried, especially after our father's death." John said, a wave of sadness crossing his face. Just then Pavel emerged from the bathroom in his pajamas.

"_There's our boy,"_ Casey said. John liked the sound of that phrase.

"_Ivan, will you read to me?" _Pavel asked, as he got between the covers of the makeshift bed on the couch.

"OK_, which story?"_ John asked, fanning out the books he'd brought from Pavel's family's apartment on the table, and hoping the boy would pick one in English. He didn't, but to John's relief it was a story he knew by heart in Russian, so it didn't matter if he had a little trouble reading the Russian.

John sat down next to Pavel on the couch, and Casey perched on one of the couch's arms, so she could see the book too. It was a wonderfully illustrated edition of the Old Russian folk tale Peter and the Wolf.

John told the story mostly by looking at the pictures and remembering his father's voice telling the story to him and Bernie. By the time he got to the end of the book, Pavel's eyes were shut.

"He looks so sweet. I hope he can sleep without any nightmares," she said.

"I hope so too, but I don't expect it," John responded.

"What time is the funeral in the morning?" she asked

"It's at 10:30," John answered.

"Should I meet you here before then?" she asked

"If you don't mind, I really need to get him a jacket. The stores will open at 9, that doesn't give much time though," John said.

"Then you better have me along, I'm a shopping pro," she claimed.

John smiled at her, too tired to laugh.

"Well I better get going, if I'm to get back here in the morning," Casey said.

"Yeah, let me call a cab for you," John offered and reached for his cell phone.

"Oh don't bother, I'll just take the subway, it's not far from here," she countered.

"Are you crazy, you're not taking the subway, let alone walking to it at this time of night," John said his voice rising.

"Keep your voice down, you'll wake Pavel," Casey said.

"Well I wouldn't be raising my voice, if you weren't being so unreasonable. Let me just call you a cab to take you home," John said.

"No John, I'm just going to,–" Casey opened the door but before she could finish her sentence, John grabbed her by the wrist pulling her back into the apartment and slammed the door shut.

"No," he said, "you're not going, you're waiting for a taxi."

"Don't you try bullying me," she looked down where he still had a hold of her wrist, and he quickly let go. "I'm leaving right this second."

"_Don't go, Casey! Please don't go!"_ Pavel wailed. John and Casey both jumped, startled by Pavel's outburst.

"See, I told you to keep your voice down, now you've woke him up," Casey scolded John.

"_Pavel, I have to go home now, it's getting late"_ she tried to explain.

"_Please stay Casey, please!_ _Please Ivan, make her she stay, please!"_ the little boy pleaded. John looked at Pavel and then at Casey. Casey returned his gaze and it was clear neither knew what to say or do.

"_It's really up to Casey,"_ John finally said. Casey gave John a look that was nearly lethal.

"_All right, for tonight I'll stay, if John can find a place for me to sleep that is_," she gave in, sort of.

"_Ivan has a big bed, I saw it. He could share it with you,"_ Pavel suggested.

"Uh, well Pavel, uh," John looked flummoxed. "You want to take this one, Casey?"

"Not really," Casey said, putting the ball back in John's court.

"_Pavel, a man and a woman don't usually share a bed"–_

"_But Mama and Papa"–_

"_Your Mama and Papa were married," _John pointed out.

"_Oh, that makes a difference_?" the boy asked all innocence

"_Yes, Pavel that makes a difference,"_ Casey said with a bit of a chuckle.

Pavel sat back, obviously disappointed.

"_Look, I think, for one night, John and I could share his bed." _ Casey said and looked at John cautiously.

"_Uhm, sure, like you said it's a big bed. Now how about you go back to sleep?" _John suggested to Pavel.

"OK, Ivan," Pavel agreed and within moments the boy was back to sleep.

"Would you look at that, as soon as he was sure you were staying, he went right back to sleep," John said bemused.

"I guess he feels safe with the two of us," Casey suggested.

"Yeah I think he's sort of latched onto you as a substitute mother figure," John proposed.

"And you as a father," Casey said.

John shrugged.

"It's a little early for my bedtime, but I don't want to risk waking Pavel up again, so if you have something I could wear for pajamas I'll get changed." Casey suggested.

"Sure, let me look," John said nervously.

He handed her a pair of black silk pajamas.

"These are nice, but what are you going to wear," she asked.

"I'll just sleep in my boxers and undershirt," John suggested.

Casey thought about how scrawny John's legs probably were and made a counter offer. "How about we compromise, lend me a pair of boxers and I'll sleep in the pajama tops and you can have the bottoms."

"OK," John agreed, fishing through his dresser drawers he found a pair of black boxers and gave them to Casey. She handed back the pajama bottoms to him and he dug around in his dresser drawers for a black t-shirt, his sense of aesthetics just not allowing him to wear his white A-shirt with the black pajama bottoms.

"Please, ladies first, besides I like a morning shower," he said as he motioned for her to use the bathroom first. While she was showering, he quickly changed and then turned down the covers of the bed. She found him in bed watching the early news.

As he looked over the long beautiful legs exposed beneath his boxers that she was wearing, he wondered if he'd made a good choice swapping her the pajama bottoms. He swallowed hard, and then got out of the bed.

"Almost forgot to brush my teeth," he said nervously.

Casey smiled to herself, liking that she made John so nervous.

After the news and the monologue of one of the late night talk shows, John turned off the TV, leaned over and turned out the lights, as he settled back in bed, he chuckled.

"What's so funny?" she asked.

"Oh, I was just thinking, this is just like the tail end of every one of my marriages. I mean, getting into bed with a beautiful woman, knowing darn well there's not a snowball's chance in hell I'm going to be getting any," he explained. She laughed too.

"Why is it, do you think, that you're so successful in getting women to say yes to marriage proposals, but so unsuccessful in staying married?" she asked.

"If I answer the first part honestly, I'm going to sound like an arrogant prick, and if I answer the second part honestly, I'll get very depressed," he answered evasively.

"If you won't answer, I'll have to guess," she threatened.

"Guess away," he said.

"I'd say you're good at getting women to say yes, because your funny and sweet," she paused for a moment, "and you're probably pretty good in bed," she paused again, waiting for him to say something, but he didn't so she continued, "and you're bad at staying married because you tend to forget that a woman needs you to be there with her, and to feel that she's at least as important as the most important thing in your life and most of all to feel that she's your life partner. How did I do?" she asked.

"You missed you're calling, you should have become a psychiatrist," John said with a note of bitterness in his voice, and then rolled onto his side so his back was toward Casey.

"I'm sorry John, I didn't mean to hurt you," Casey said, reaching out a hand to touch John, but then not daring too. She let the silence stretch for a while.

"You know, when I was little I used to think this was what being married was all about," Casey said.

"What, saying insightful but hurtful things to someone," John said, obviously still smarting from what Casey had said.

"No," she said sadly and got quiet.

"Hey, I'm sorry," John said, and rolled back toward Casey. "I guess I'm a bit more sensitive about my failed marriages than I let on. Go on and tell me what you were going to, before I acted like a bear with a sore paw," he said apologetically.

"OK, if your sure," Casey rearranged herself to be a bit closer to John, and he nodded to her to go ahead. "I used to think being married was all about having someone to talk to at night after the lights went out," she said. John could tell by the tone of her voice that, if he could see her face more clearly, he'd see that she was blushing.

"You see, my bedroom was near my parents' bedroom, and I could hear them talking softly. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but just the thought that they weren't alone after the lights went out, and they could talk to each other and have secrets; well that made me think being married had to be really special."

"I take it you didn't share a room with a sibling," John said.

"No, did you?" she asked.

"No, but Bernie used to come into my room a lot, whenever he had nightmares. I'd let him sleep with me after he had a bad dream."

"He'd go to you instead of your parents?" she asked somewhat surprised.

"Well, this was after my father's death. Bernie knew that I understood better what his nightmares were about than Mom did," John explained.

"Why would you understand better than your mother?" she asked.

John hesitated. He almost never discussed his father's suicide with anyone, but somehow tonight felt different, somehow he felt like telling Casey everything that he normally kept hidden away.

"My brother and I found my father's body after he committed suicide by shooting himself," John explained simply.

"Oh my God, how old were you?"

"I was eleven, Bernie had just turned five," John answered, he sighed then continued. "It was one of my mom's days to do volunteer work. I'd walk over from the middle school I attended to Bernie's elementary school, he was in kindergarten, in the afternoon session. I'd walk him home. That day when we got home I noticed that the house was unusually still. I could smell gunpowder in the air. I wandered into the dining room and there Dad was, dead at the dining room table, his blood and brains spattered all over the dining room wall. I didn't react fast enough to keep Bernie from coming in and seeing it too," The circumstances of John and his little brother finding his father's body after his suicide disturbed Casey, and she wanted to reach out and comfort John but she wasn't sure if he would accept that from her. A silence filled the room for a time.

"I never understood why he did it, and I never understood my mother's reaction either," he said.

"What did your mother do?" Casey asked.

"After Dad was buried in the city cemetery," he said the last two words with a special bitterness that Casey filed away to ask about later, "she moved us up here to Manhattan where she had family, and she changed our names," he answered.

"You told Pavel your name was Ivan," Casey said with the excitement of dawning understanding.

"Yes, when he asked me in Russian, what my name was, I just automatically told him the name I was born with, Ivan Borshevsky. My mother changed our last names to her maiden name and my first name to John," he explained.

"But why would she do that?" Casey asked.

"To erase the memory of my father, I guess," John said uncomfortably.

"Oh John, I can't believe she'd want to do that, I mean she must have loved your father, and known that you and your brother loved him too," Casey argued.

"I used to think my parents were very much in love, of course that was just a kid's interpretation, and what did I know? I didn't even know my Dad was thinking of committing suicide, and I never knew why he did it, not really" John said.

"Didn't he leave a note or something?" Casey asked.

"If he did, I never saw it. I suppose he may have left a letter with Mom or with his business partner, but neither of them ever told me about it," he told Casey, and then he decided to tell her his secret.

"Sometimes I think maybe I was to blame," he said, so softly she almost didn't hear it.

"Why would you think that?" she asked, glad she had caught what he'd said.

"The night before he committed suicide, he'd punished because of something I'd done at school," John began explaining.

"What did you do?" she asked, trying to imagine what John must have been like as a boy.

"I had mouthed off to one of my teachers, and he called home that night to let my parents know what I did. Actually, I was just clowning around, like my Dad always did. He was great at making people laugh, and lots of times he'd do that by teasing someone. That's all I was doing really, just trying to be like my Dad. But he yelled at me, told me I should never be disrespectful of my teachers, and when I tried to explain that I was just trying to be like him, he said that that was no excuse, and he went off on a tirade that I didn't really follow very well, and then he did something he hardly every did. He hit me. I remember running up to my room, screaming at him that I hated his guts. I locked my bedroom door, he tried to get me to come out so he could talk to me. I heard him say he was sorry, but I was so mad at him I wouldn't come out, and I wouldn't unlock the door and let him come in either. The next day I didn't see him at breakfast, and when I came home from school, he was dead."

In the dim light she couldn't see well, but she knew John was crying. She could hear it in his voice and sense it in his body language.

"What if hearing those words from his own son were the last straw?" he asked forlornly.

"John, he was your father, he knew you didn't mean what you said," she assured him. Casey decided she didn't care what the consequences might be later on down the road, right now John needed to be held, and so she moved close enough to reach out and touch his face, and then offer to pull him into her arms. His face was wet with tears as she expected. He was embarrassed to have her know he'd been crying.

"Casey," he said reluctantly, but she shushed him, gathering him in and rocking him gently. He held on to her and let more tears flow for a few minutes, and then he released her and moved back from her a bit.

"Thanks, I've only told one other person about my feeling guilty about my Dad's suicide," he said, his voice still a little shaky.

Suddenly Casey thought she knew whom he had told, and for some reason it made her angry. "Not Amy Solwey? Not that self-centered know-it-all?"

"Yes, Amy Solwey. I had to tell her to make her stop trying to commit suicide because she was feeling guilty." John answered, a bit stunned by Casey's vehemence.

"I'll never understand why you go out of your way for that woman, you tell her your innermost secrets, and you nearly throw your career away for her. What's she got that"– Casey stopped herself before she said something that made her sound jealous, but in truth she realized she was.

John decided it was time to lighten things up a bit, "Well, like a certain someone I know, I don't always think before I act. Besides, I never took a bullet for her," he said, referring to the time not long ago when a neo Nazi had shot up a courtroom. At one point holding a gun to Casey's head. The gunman's accomplice had shot John, when John ordered the gunman to drop his weapon.

"Hey, that gave you the opportunity of a lifetime, you get wounded in the line of duty so you're a hero, and you get to tell people you got shot in the ass. I must admit that shooter must have been one hell of a marksman to find your skinny butt," she laughed.

"Is that anyway to talk about a hero?" he asked, his good humor restored.

They lay beside each other in the dark quietly for a while.

"John, are you asleep?" Casey asked.

"Yes," he answered, and then laughed. "God, this is something I remember about every wife and every live-in girlfriend I ever had. I want to sleep, she wants to talk, maybe being single these last few years hasn't been as bad as I thought," he commented.

"Oh yeah, well from the girlfriend's side of it, I can tell you it's always, I want to talk, he want to sleep. I want to talk, he wants to have sex. I want to talk, he wants to watch football," she retorted.

"See you just illustrated my point, all women want to do is yak, yak, yak," he said.

"I could say something really pithy right now, but I won't, if you'll just let me ask you something, OK?"

"Do I have to answer?" he asked

"Yes," she replied sounding exasperated.

"If I let you ask me a question and I answer it, will you let me go to sleep?" he pleaded.

"Yes, I promise."

"OK, what's the question?"

"Well, you said you moved to Manhattan when you were eleven, but I thought you grew up in Baltimore and that that's where you were for most of your police career. So when did you move back there?" she asked.

"We moved back to Pikesville after I finished middle school," John answered sleepily.

"Why?" Casey asked.

"Nyah, one question, then you promised to let me sleep. Now, good night," he yawned.

"Good night, sweet dreams," she added.

John had probably been asleep for all of 15 minutes when screams from the front room awakened him. He ran out to find Pavel sitting up in the makeshift bed screaming.

"_It's all right Bernie, I'm here. It's all right. Everything will be OK. I'll take care of you, don't worry. I won't let anything bad happen to you, not ever._" John crooned to the boy, the words coming unbidden.

Casey watched as John consoled the boy, she'd heard the slip as John called Pavel by his younger brother's name, but the boy didn't seem to notice.

"Casey," the boy called her name as he became aware of her and wanted her to comfort him too.

"Let's take him to our bed," John suggested.

They put the boy in the middle of the bed and soon he was snuggled between them and sound asleep.

Casey brushed back Pavel's hair and gave him a kiss. She and John each rolled toward the boy, She put a hand on the boy's back and John placed one of his hands over hers. They fell asleep that way, the little orphan boy, the young lady lawyer and the old cynical cop, a new family in the making.


	5. Preparations

John woke, a few minutes before his alarm would normally go off. He groggily rolled over and nearly fell out of bed, only catching himself at the last moment by putting one foot on the floor and a hand on his nightstand. As he righted himself and got his bearings, he glanced over at the bed, and realized why he had nearly landed on the floor. Sprawled on his bed were Pavel and Casey.

He stood there looking at them in the early morning light, and he felt something inside himself moving, shifting. All his life he'd been looking for something, for someone to make him feel whole and alive, to make him stop thinking the world had it in for him. In the last day, he had realized what he needed was simply to open up his heart and take the chance he'd always denied himself. He needed to stop being the child and finally accept the role of father, a role he'd been practicing for all his life, but had always been too afraid to embrace. He felt a ray of hope warming inside him, that in doing so he might also finally find a woman, the woman, who would finally accept him as he was and stay with him. He suddenly realized that if he allowed himself, he could stand there looking at them all morning long, but there were things to do.

He answered nature's call, but postponed his morning shower, pulling on his favorite old jeans and sweatshirt. He left a note for Casey on the bathroom mirror, so she wouldn't worry, if she woke and found him gone. He grabbed his gun, because even off-duty he was expected to be armed when he went out, and then put his favorite dark quilted vest on over it. He was headed to the big supermarket in his neighborhood, to lay in some groceries. Having a kid in the house would mean keeping the fridge and pantry a little better stocked than he normally did.

When he got to the supermarket, he made a beeline for the produce department. John selected a small bag of oranges, he had a juicer, and he was a great believer in the benefit of fresh juices. He picked up a handful of other fruits and vegetables and then headed for the dairy case. He was really torn here. He wasn't convinced milk would be all that good for Pavel, because of all the things that got into it, but finally a carton of organic milk caught his eye and he decided that that would be OK. He picked up cage free brown eggs, and then he bought some organic yogurt for himself and Casey. He then added whole wheat bread, bagels, organic peanut butter and grape jelly to his shopping cart. He went down the cereal aisle in complete amazement at all the junk on the shelves that was being passed off as cereal. He settled on Cherrios for Pavel and granola for himself.

One of the things John liked about this particular supermarket was that it featured a well-stocked kosher meat case. He grabbed a few deli meats from that case and a chicken, and decided his shopping was done.

Casey woke a bit bewildered, not realizing at first where she was. When she saw Pavel, she remembered the previous evening in detail. She didn't see John and wondered where he could be. A trip to the bathroom answered that, as she found the sticky note on the mirror.

_Casey,_

_I've gone to get some groceries. The cupboard was bare. Be back soon._

_John_

_P.S. I've got my cell phone with me, so call if you think of something you want._

Just as John was checking out, his cell phone rang.

"Hello? Oh Hi Casey," he answered.

"John, can you get some coffee? I can't seem to find any in the kitchen."

"Oh, it's in the freezer, whole beans and there's a grinder on the counter top, next to the coffee pot," he answered her.

"Oh, OK I see it. Will you be home soon?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm in the check out line now. Be home in 10 or 15," he answered.

"OK, see ya then."

Casey ground the beans and got the coffee on, determined to have a fresh pot of coffee to present to John when he arrived.

As John juggled the groceries bags trying to get his keys out of his jeans pocket, he found he had no choice but to ring the doorbell. After what seemed like ages Casey opened the apartment door.

"What took you so long?" he asked, sounding a bit miffed.

"I had to look through the peep hole, to make sure it was really you!" she said, a note of teasing in her voice.

"I deserve that one," John admitted. He put the groceries on the kitchen table and began unpacking the bags.

"Go on, jump in the shower, I'll put these away." She said shooing him away, and then calling him back. "Hey, you want a cup of coffee?"

"Thanks," he said accepting a mug of the steaming liquid. "You know, I could get use to this," he said as he headed for the bathroom, while taking sips of the hot, fresh coffee.

She just smiled. When he was out of earshot, she added. "So could I."

John put his mug down by the sink, stripped and took a quick shower. He briskly toweled off after his shower, and then wrapped a towel around his waist and took another sip of his coffee. He stood in front of the mirror and began his morning ritual of shaving.

"John?" Casey said as she peaked into the bathroom.

"Yeah," he answered a bit nervously.

"I'm making omelets for breakfast, what do you like in yours?" she asked, trying not to be too obvious about checking out John's tattoo.

"Uh, I'm not that picky. I'm sure whatever you make will be just fine," he answered almost shyly.

"Alright, well breakfast should be ready in about 5 minutes," she said as she left for the kitchen.

John finished shaving and then went back into his bedroom to get dressed. He glanced at Pavel, who was still sound asleep. He was glad the boy was finally sleeping soundly and regretted that he'd have to wake him pretty soon, to get him fed and dressed.

John had decided to leave his dress shirt off until after he'd finished eating, otherwise he'd run the risk of getting something on it. So he came out to the kitchen dressed in his best black pants, an A-shirt and suspenders. He was also barefooted. When Casey saw him she decided that it didn't matter if he was old enough to be her father and skinny as a beanpole, she thought he was incredibly sexy.

"Can you help me with the juicer?" she asked as she fumbled with the appliance and a handful of citrus.

"Here," John came up behind her and reached around her with his long arms. "Let me do that, you make sure my eggs don't burn," he teased. He found himself fighting the urge to trap her against the cabinets; to press his body against hers, wrap his arms around her, kiss her neck. He shook his head a little, to clear it of those thoughts. There was a lot to do today and he couldn't indulge his fantasies, besides this was suppose to be a time of mourning his thoughts were definitely inappropriate.

Soon they had a breakfast of just brewed coffee, freshly squeezed orange juice, cheese and veggie omelets and whole-wheat toast.

"Mm, this is wonderful, I guess last night's potato soup wasn't a fluke," John commented.

"No, I love to cook. I just don't usually do it, because it seems like such a lot of bother for one person. I really wish I had someone to cook for all the time."

"Careful what you wish for, it might come true," John warned her and waggled his fork at her.

She just smiled, and then she decided that since John seemed to be in a good mood, she'd tempt fate and ask him about his tattoo.

"So, is that tattoo really a marijuana leaf?" she asked.

"Yeah, a souvenir of my rebellious youth," he answered. "I'd love to tell you the story, but we need to roust a boy and get him fed and dressed, and then we'll take you to you're place, so you can get dressed. After that we'll hit the stores to get Pavel a jacket and a warm coat."

"Sounds like you've got it all planned out."

"Pretty much, at least through the funeral, after that, well, I guess I'll figure it out when the time comes."

They put their dishes in the sink and then turned to the task of getting Pavel up and ready. As it turned out Pavel was one of those rare children who woke up cheerful and cooperative, so it didn't take long to dress him and get him fed. It helped that John had somehow managed to pick up several foods the boy liked, so soon the threesome were headed off to Casey's apartment.

John and Pavel waited in Casey's living room like two impatient suitors while she changed clothes. "_What makes it take so long for girls to get dressed?" _Pavel asked.

John smiled. "Uh, _they've got a bit more to deal with_," he answered

When Casey emerged in a simple black dress suitable for the funeral, John couldn't help think that even so simply dressed, she was still breathtakingly beautiful, at least in his opinion.

"_Well gentlemen, let's go shopping!"_ she said with enthusiasm.

LATER THAT EVENING

Casey had commandeered John's kitchen table to spread out files and her laptop computer, so she could prepare for the grand jury she had postponed in order to attend the Rusayevs' funeral. She glanced over at John and Pavel and sighed, the funeral that morning had not brought out the best in her. It had just been so hard for her to watch the two people she was starting to fall so in love with, hurt so much. She also felt they had been poorly treated. Bad enough that Pavel was struggling with the loss of his family, but she'd also seen John struggling. At the end of the funeral there had been questions about where the Shiva would be, John explained that for Pavel's safety they would not be accepting any Shiva calls, and that had caused a minor uproar. Casey hadn't handled it in a manner that befitted an Assistant DA. Hopefully, Arthur Branch wouldn't hear about it, or at least no one would translate what she'd said.

"_I think maybe it's time we take Casey to her place, Pavel," _John suggested.

"_No, I want her to stay!" _the little boy wailed.

"_Pavel, Casey can't stay here with us all the time, she has her own home,"_ he countered calmly.

"_Why can't this be her home?" _Pavel wailed.

John shook his head; he was uncertain what to say to calm the boy.

"John, I can stay, if it's that important to him." Casey offered.

John moved over to the kitchen so he could stand close to Casey to have a private conversation.

"Look, I don't think it's a good idea to give into him all the time," he said very quietly.

"Normally I'd agree, but" – she hesitated and looked at the boy, "he's had such a rough time, if he needs me to stay, I'll stay," she repeated her offer.

John looked over at Pavel, who was looking at him with pleading eyes, and then turned back to Casey. He was on the verge of telling her it was him who would have trouble handling the situation they were about to set up. He took a deep breath. "OK, but I'm really worried about setting a precedent here."

"Oh no, we mustn't set a precedent," Casey said with a smirk.

John gave her a look that said he wasn't as amused as she'd hoped he'd be by her remark.

"OK Pavel, Casey _is staying tonight_" –

"Yeah!" Pavel said jumping up on the couch and clapping.

"_OFF THE COUCH!_" Casey commanded.

"OK", Pavel said meekly and got down obediently.

"_I didn't mean to yell at you, but you should know better than to jump on furniture," _Casey said, hoping to stave off tears.

John smiled; Casey seemed to parent instinctively, but she was much more stringent than he'd be about things an exuberant young boy might do.

"_Alright let me help with your belt and then you go get into your pajamas," _John told Pavel.

"_Already,"_ the boy whined.

"_Yes already, but if you quit complaining and just go get changed, I'll read you a couple of stories before bedtime,"_ John promised.

Pavel quickly ran to John for him to undo his belt and then ran to the bathroom to change.

"He's such a sweet boy, and you," she pointed at him and smiled, "are a push over."

"Pushover?" he said and cocked his head at her.

"Reading him two stories if he doesn't whine about having to get ready for bed," she said by way of explanation.

He shrugged, "It always worked with Bernie."

"_Ivan, I need help with the toothpaste,"_ Pavel yelled from the bathroom

John shook his head and headed off to help Pavel.

After taking turns reading two stories to Pavel and tuck him into bed, John and Casey retired to his bedroom. Casey brought her papers and laptop with her.

"Do you mind if I work for a while?" she asked.

"No, I was just going to ask if you would mind if I did some research on the Internet," John admitted.

"How are you going to do that in here?" she asked.

"When I stopped by the squad this afternoon, I borrowed a laptop that has a wireless connection," he answered.

"Ah, I see, so what are you researching?" she asked.

"Schools for Pavel, I also need to check my email. Huang said he was trying to set Pavel up with a good child psychologist," John answered.

They sat in bed side by side, each tapping away on a keyboard. After a while John closed his laptop, set it aside, yawned, stretched and settled into the covers.

"You want me to stop?" Casey asked.

"No, go ahead and work if you need to, I can sleep through a little keyboard tapping," he assured her.

"Alright, I'm almost done anyway," she replied and continued her work, occasionally glancing over to see if he was asleep or not. She closed her laptop and put her files away a few minutes later.

"You done already?' he asked.

"Not really, but I can see I'm keeping you awake," she replied.

"No you're really not, I'm just not used to this early to bed routine brought on by having a grade school kid sleeping in my living room. I guess what I really should have been searching the Internet for was a new apartment," John said, thinking over the situation.

"Yes, you had better do that very quickly if you have any plans to keep Pavel on a more permanent basis," Casey commented.

"What do you mean?" John sat up some, and turned toward Casey to pay closer attention to what she was saying.

"Well, face it John, you're going to have a difficult time convincing Child Protective Services to make you Pavel's foster parent on a permanent basis, let alone let you adopt him," Casey told him.

John sighed heavily. "You really think so?" he asked

"I'm afraid so, usually foster parents have to go through a lengthy training process and background checks and home visitations before a child is placed with them, and while many CPS agents think more mature adults make the best foster parents, a lot of adoption agencies don't like to see more than a 25 year age gap between child and adoptive parent. Add that to your work schedule, marital status and the danger of your occupation… well, I think it's going to be an uphill battle," she finally finished. When John didn't say anything immediately, she added, "Damn, there I go again, saying things you'd rather not hear."

"No it's OK. You're right and it's something I have to face. As much as I want Pavel to stay with me, and I think he wants to stay with me, it may not be in the cards."

"But you are going to try and keep him aren't you?" Casey said, suddenly dismayed at the thought that John might give up.

"You bet I am, and I'll do anything I can to keep him with me, to raise him as my own," he said firmly.

"And I'm determined to help you," she added.

"You've been so wonderful with Pavel. I don't know how I'm going to thank you," John told her earnestly.

"You want a suggestion?" she asked sincerely.

"You have something in mind?" he asked.

"Yes, let me be a part Pavel's life," she requested.

"Of course, I can't imagine raising Pavel without your help," he admitted.

"Thank You," she said excitedly and threw her arms around him, giving him a hug and a kiss on his cheek. They drew apart both a bit embarrassed.

"Well, um …" John cleared his throat, "I'm going to try to get some sleep before Pavel wakes us up again with his nightmares."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's a good idea," she said and turned a way from him turning off the light on her side of the bed.

They laid next to each other in silence for a while and then they simultaneously spoke each other's names, and then they laughed.

"Ladies first," John said.

"You think after what I said at the cemetery, I still qualify?" she asked with humor in her voice.

John laughed, "Oh, I don't think calling Mrs. Petrov an old cow means you have to surrender your right to be considered a lady," he answered, then added, "But I do think you should give people fair warning of your temper by changing your hair back to red."

"But don't gentlemen prefer blondes?" she asked.

"Maybe, but as beautiful as you are, I think you were even more beautiful"-

Before he could finish his thought, the night's calm was shattered by a scream from Pavel, and he and Casey were soon by the child's side.

John picked the frightened boy up and brought him to the bedroom, all the time crooning to the child in a mixture of Russian and English. John put Pavel down on the bed, and he and Casey laid down on either side of the boy. They let him talk to them, describing his nightmares, which sounded surprisingly like a replay of the attack on his parents and grandfather. They took turns talking to him, reassured him that he was safe and that they wouldn't leave him. Pavel finally fell asleep curled up between them, and Casey drifted off to sleep too, but John didn't fall asleep right away.

He lay awake in the quiet of the early morning and thought about all that Casey had said. Some of it worried him, and some of it raised hopes in him that he thought would never rise again. She wanted to be a part of Pavel's life and she was determined to help him keep Pavel, so she was bound to be a part of his life too. Now, if he could simply find the slime balls that endangered his boy's life and put them behind bars for life, figure out a way to pay for a bigger apartment and a good private school for Pavel, and convince the bureaucrats at Child Protective Services that he should be Pavel's adoptive father. He sighed, turned over, punched his pillow, laid his head down and was soon gently snoring.

The next morning was a bit hectic as all three of them tried to get ready at the same time.

"I better run, I've got an early motion hearing," Casey said as she tried to down the rest of her orange juice.

"Hang on, I'll drive you. I have to take Pavel to see Liz Olivet, and her office isn't that far from the court house," John offered.

"Oh good, I'll get a few extra minutes with my favorite guys and I won't have to shell out for a taxi or mix with the rush hour crowds in the subway," she said with a smile.

"No, you just have to put up with my driving," John said with a smirk.

"_Come on Pavel, don't dawdle," _Casey cajoled the boy.

"But I don't want to see the 'sigh kite trick' lady!" he said stubbornly.

Casey and Munch both had to stifle laughs at Pavel's unique interpretation of the word psychiatrist.

"Pavel, Dr Olivet has a very special job. She helps children who have had bad things happen to them," John gently explained.

"Like having their mama and papa and grandpapa killed?" Pavel asked.

"Yes," John answered simply.

"She will help me?" Pavel asked, a certain amount of disbelief in his voice.

"I think she will," John answered honestly.

"OK," Pavel answered and began cooperating with the necessary activities to get them out the door and under way.

At the courthouse, John pulled his car into a Kiss & Drop Zone, an area meant just for dropping off passengers. Casey grabbed her briefcase out of the back seat on the passenger side of the car and then circled around the car, she signaled to both of her guys to lower their windows. Casey leaned into the car through the open window where Pavel was sitting and gave him a kiss. "Be a good boy today."

Casey next took a step toward the front of the car, bringing her closer to John and then impulsively kissed him. The kiss was neither a peck on the cheek nor a round of tonsil hockey, but something in between, and something that definitely would leave him thinking about her all day long. "You be a good boy, too," she said and then turned and walked quickly in the directions of the courthouse. John was so stunned by what she'd done, he just sat there for a while until the car behind him blasted on his horn.

John put the car in gear and drove off, still a bit dazed. Pavel smiled to himself, his two favorite people were falling in love nothing could be better. He wouldn't even mind seeing this lady doctor.


End file.
